You Do Not Deserve Your Car

I saw you today. You were driving an expensive car. Too bad having all that money to spend on your vehicle still doesn't make you a good driver. You really suck. And I bet that you bought your car hoping to make up for a teeny, tiny problem you have down there. Yes, I'm talking about your itty bitty little joke of a penis.

Listen. I'm not here to watch you squander your hard-earned dollars on a car intended to make you feel better about yourself. Buying all the cars in the world won't make up for your lack of a cock. Instead, what you're doing is spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on something other than ME.

HELLO?? Are you fucking stupid? I am the ONE and ONLY thing you should EVER be spending your money on. Not some lame-ass car. Your sole purpose in life is to spend your money on ME. Now, you've really truly pissed Me off and disgusted me by your shameful purchase. I'm just about ready to block you from My life forever. But there's one small thing you can do to get back in My good graces. You can either sign your car over to Me or you can sell it and give Me the money. Your choice. If you don't, you are completely deleted from My life. Then what will your pathetic little self do? Might as well just curl up in a ball in a dark corner because your life will no longer have purpose.

You seriously fucked up and now it's time to pay the consequences. Do it now, loser! I don't have all day!

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